Helping Kids Navigate Grief Through Fiction

Losing a parent is one of the most profound and life-altering experiences a child can face. It leaves a lasting imprint on their emotional and physical well-being, often rippling through every part of life - from school and friendships to the stability of home. 

Carolyn Johns, counsellor at the National Centre for Childhood Grief (NCCG), describes grief as “chaotic”, disrupting routines, beliefs, moods and perspectives. Children around the age of 12, she explains, experience grief like crashing waves that are all-consuming and then recede. “They might cry or withdraw. Get irritable, really irritable, and angry. Seem fine one moment and deeply, deeply sad the next.”  

At this age, she says, “children often express their emotions indirectly — through creative art, writing, sport, or play.” In today’s digital world, many also process grief online, using social media to express feelings they may struggle to convey in person. However, sometimes it's the quiet rituals that help the most. Whether it's listening to music, kicking a soccer ball, or lighting a candle. These small acts become emotional anchors. They help kids hold on to a bond while learning to let go of what was. 

In Running Tracks, a tender coming-of-age novel by Jotham Kingston, 12-year-old Anthony is navigating life after the death of his mum. He finds her old Walkman and mixtapes, and through music and running, begins to process his grief. He listens. He runs. He remembers. And in doing so, he starts to stitch together a new version of life without her. 

“These kinds of personal rituals are incredibly important,” says Carolyn. “They offer a sense of stability where their world has been turned upside down…a sense of normalcy and safety in a world that suddenly feels just completely uncertain.” Rituals, she explains, “help children privately process their feelings while maintaining a continuing bond with the parent they’ve lost.” That bond, she says, doesn’t end with death; the relationship lives on.

“His mum will always be his mum forever, and he'll always have a connection…he doesn't have to explain what he's feeling. He can go for a run, listen to the music, and metaphorically speaking, spend some time with his mum anyway.” - Running Tracks, Jotham Kingston.

Fiction, too, can be a powerful tool in helping children navigate grief. Stories offer a safe space for children to explore painful emotions, allowing enough distance to make those feelings manageable. Reading about loss “gives children a way to externalise their own experience,” Carolyn explains. “It also gives the language like a vocabulary for them to be able to explain what they're feeling, and also examples for understanding grief and how it impacts people, and hopefully give them some hope.” 

For children who’ve taken on a caregiving role after a parent’s death - something Carolyn says is “very common” - fiction can also be a mirror, reflecting their own experience. “Kids often try to protect the surviving parent. They take on extra responsibilities, suppress their own needs and try to restore balance at home.” When they see characters doing the same, it can be validating. It reminds them they’re not alone.  

So how can adults use fiction to support grieving children? 

“Reading together often helps, it can just provide a sense of we’re in this together, but it offers a safe space to talk about feelings, and [stories] emphasising resilience can be especially comforting.” 

“Choose age-appropriate books,” Carolyn advises. “Let the child guide the conversation. But it’s also okay if they’re not ready. Some days they’ll want to engage, and other days they won’t. That’s normal.” 

Grief can cause children to regress - emotionally, they may feel much younger than their age. A 12-year-old might need the comfort and reassurance of a much younger child. That’s why flexibility and patience matter, as well as the dedication of people like Carolyn Johns and the team at NCCG in supporting young people experiencing bereavement. 

Running Tracks is a nostalgic, heartfelt novel about grief, music, and the quiet ways we heal. It’s due to be released by Elephant Page Publishing early next year - and it might just be the story a young reader needs. 

The National Centre for Childhood Grief is a not-for-profit organisation that provides free support to bereaved children and families. They receive no government funding. You can support their work by making a donation here. 

Amanda Webster

Editorial Associate